Song Lyrics

If I had a hammer
I'd wake up all my neighbors
Pounding out a rhythm
All about you
If I had a pencil
I'd push me some paper
I'd build a skyscraper
To get close to you
If I had a lasso
I'd said out the window
And land on an island
Next to you
If I had a hot rod
I'd fasten up my seat belt
And break the speed limit
Gettin' to you
But I ain't got a hammer
And I ain't got a pencil
And I ain't got a lasso
So I'm doing it the hard way
Like a post post-modern man
If I had a credit card
I'd clear me a pathway
Through the deepest jungle
Right to your door
If I had a camera
I'd snap away my fingers
And collect up the pictures
Of you, of course
But I ain't got a hot rod
And I ain't got a credit card
No chance for a camera
So I'm doing it the hard way
Like a post post-modern man
Well I ain't go a hammer
And I ain't got a lasso
No chance for a camera
So I'm doing it the hard way

Gerald V. Casale, Mark Allen Mothersbaugh

The duration of Post Post-Modern Man [Album Version] is 2:50 minutes and seconds.