Song Lyrics

If a girl isn't pretty
Like a Miss Atlantic City
All she gets in life is pity
And a pat

Kindly name a star who hasn't
Won a contest or a pageant
If she hasn't she just never
Gets to bat

She must shine in every detail
Like a ring, you're buying retail
Be a standard size that
Fits a standard dress

When a girl's incidentals
Are no bigger than two lentils
Then to me it doesn't spell
Success

Frumpy faces that could cause ya
To have temporary nausea
Do I have to hear a lecture
Such as that?

Is a nose with deviation
Such a crime against the nation?
Should I throw her into jail
Or drown the cat?

So she looks a bit off balance
She possesses golden talents
Or is that a pill too bitter
To digest?

Oh, she's got very nice deportment, hm
But when they see that at Ortmund's
From the gallery they'll be
Throwing fruit

Bob Merrill, Jule Styne

The duration of If a Girl Isn't Pretty [Album Version] is 3:15 minutes and seconds.