Song Lyrics

"G'day, my name's Tony
On behalf of myself and the coachline
I'd like to thank you for choosing to drive with us today
I'm a local, I hope I can impart some local knowledge
If you've got any questions don't hesitate, just sing out
For those who are interested, there's the Old Bridge, swaying away
Replaced by the New Bridge in 1972
Funny thing, the Old Bridge used to be called the New Bridge
Yeah, bit of a funny thing
Up ahead there's the bronze of Bluey
A local sheepdog, who became a member of Regional Council
It was a bloody great day for dogs, not just here
But everywhere in the North Island
Here's the town's oldest street
That's the Museum of Meat
There's the town's largest industry
That's the sock factory, hence the giant sock"

The town hall
Note the mosaic wall
Well, there are 5,600 tiles on that wall
I know, I counted them all
The local school, the local swimming pool
Which was opened by the Governor General
Back in 1952
Where I was caught with a friend aged 11, sniffing tractor fuel
We thought we were pretty cool, breaking them changing shed rules

But do you see up there?
The banner hanging in the air?
The Presbyterian Fair
Well, I never go, there's too many Presbyterians there
But if you're interested, the fair's in the third weekend of August every year
But don't bother entering the raffle
It's always won by some kid of the Mayor

Do you hear that sound?
The town clock, heard from anywhere in town
Until 1960, it was a little place in Norway
We bought it for a hundred pounds
Rumor has it they sold it cheap because the chimes were too loud
But every time I hear that sound it makes me so proud

Look to your left, what a beautiful sight
It's Paula, Paula Thompson, nee Paula Wright
Look at her hair, it's still gorgeous, even now
Flowing like the Womahonga River
Which incidently, is to your right
And it's the largest, in the area
In terms of volume
Everybody, look at Paula, look at Paula Thompson
I always thought I'd marry Paula
But some things just don't work out that way
Well, that's the most important thing you'll learn on the tour today
That, and the fact there'll be a toilet break
At the information center near the manmade lake

"Yeah, I'll just ask you one favor
If you do see Paula in town later on
That you don't mention the details of the tour
I'd appreciate that
Same goes for my wife, Gloria
You'll recognize her
She looks a hell of a lot like Paula, actually
She often gets mistaken for Paula
But, um, well, she's not Paula, that's for sure, no"

Paula Thompson, born in '54
To a family of four
To the family next door
Take me back next door
Paula Thompson, nee Paula Wright
That's her old house, number 39
Number 41 was mine
If this old coach could go back in time
I'd drive to 1979
Take me back
Take me back, take me back
(Take, take, take, take me back)
Take me back, take me back
(Take, take, take, take me back)
Take me back, take me back, take me back, take me back, take me back, take me back

"Yeah, sorry about that
I always get a little bit emotional
On the corner of Rutherford and Brown Streets
But, um, that is truly the end of the tour
So mind your step, yeah, good on you"

Jemaine Atea Mahana Clement, Bret Mckenzie