Song Lyrics

Central Scrutinizer:
Hello there... this is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... Joe was sent to a special prison where they keep all the other criminals from the music business... you know... the ones who get caught... it's a horrible place, painted all green on the inside, where musicians and former executives take turns snorting detergent and plooking each other...

... Anyway, listen, while he's in there he meets this guy who used to be a promo man for a major record company, named Bald-Headed John . . . King of the Plookers . . .

Father Riley B. Jones:
This is the story 'bout
Bald-Headed John

Former Execs:
Dong work for Yuda,
Dong, Dong

Father Riley B. Jones:
He talks a lot 'n it's usually wrong

Former Execs:
Dong work for Yuda,
Dong, Dong

Father Riley B. Jones:
He said Dong was Wong,
'N Wong was Kong
'N Dong work for Yuda,
'N John was wrong

Former Execs:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
Dong work for Yuda
Dong, Dong
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
He said Dong was Wong
And Wong was Kong
And Dong was Gong
'N John was wrong

Father Riley B. Jones:
John's got a sausage
Yeh man
John's got a sausage
Yeh man
John's got a sausage that will make you fart
John's got a sausage that will break your heart
Make you fart
And break your heart
Don't bend over if you are smart
He took a little walk to the weenie stand
John's got a sausage
Yeh man
A great big weenie in both his hands
John's got a sausage
Yeh man
He sucked on the end 'til the mustard squirt
He said, "Ya'll stand back 'cause you might get hurt"

Former Execs:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
John's got a sausage
Yeh man

Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
He said Dong was Wong
Wong was Kong
Kong was Gong
'N John was wrong

Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

Bald-Headed John:
Make way for the iron shaschige

Former Execs:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

Bald-Headed John:
I need a dozen towels so the boys can take a shower

Former Execs:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

Bald-Headed John:
Bartender, bring me a colada and milk

Former Execs:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

Bald-Headed John:
On second thought, make that a water . . .
HtO

Former Execs:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

Bald-Headed John:
Falcum . . .
Take me to the falcum!

Former Execs:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

Bald-Headed John:
I wave my bags
Did you wave your'n

Former Execs:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

Bald-Headed John:
Well how much did they wave?

Former Execs:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

Bald-Headed John:
Ah'm almost two kilometers tall

Former Execs:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

Bald-Headed John:
This girl must be praketing richcraft

Former Execs:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

Bald-Headed John:
Don't worry about the faggot
I'll take care of the faggot

Former Execs:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

Try it again,
Try it again
Try, try, try again . . .
etc., etc., etc.

Bald-Headed John:
Your Pomona is very extinct . . .
Yeah, I studied with the Dong of Tokyo
'N also with the oriental Kato . . .
My body contain uh water
I just loves the way these Copenhagens talks!
Driver, McDoodle . . .
Sausage
Salima
Salami
That looks like that stuff Freckles lets out
Once a mumfth . . .

Central Scrutinizer:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER . . . Poor Joe. He's getting tired from bending over . . . but we tried to warn him . . . didn't we? Okay, Joe . . . you asked for it . . . here comes The Big One . . .

Frank Zappa, John Smothers